“I keep becoming seduced by the notion that I know who I am but I am consistently reminded that I am just a collection of concepts and mood swings centred by an essence that connects invisibly with everything and everyone.” Jacquie Forde
Every moment of every day we can be seduced by the notion that we know who we are, that we have a solid permanent version of ourselves that has fixed personal tastes, likes, dislikes and opinions and that this stability of opinion gave us strength and certainty in an uncertain world. We invariably introduce ourselves with a common greeting, “Hi, I am (insert name, body size and shape, job title, family relation etc. in here)
The “I am” seeks qualification and company in an insecure mind.
The common labels I would apply were:
I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a wife. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am a businesswoman. I am curvy. I am tall. I am happy. I am married. I am sad. I am depressed.
Mostly we all only know ourselves by the labels we apply and by relating ourselves to something. But what if we could simply describe ourselves as the “I am” ……before qualification.
I remember one of the first times I uttered those words. I was presenting at my graduation ceremony at the One Thought Institute in London. The room was full and the guests eager to everyone’s transformational stories. Mr Lovely accompanied me.
We were all asked to present in front of the audience with the story of our journey on the course and on the day some people were more nervous than others. I remember that day so well. I loved listening to everyone and watching the audience become transfixed with our experiences. When it was time for me to speak I looked over and smiled at Mr Lovely who was filming the whole experience on his ipad to show our daughters. It was showtime!
I love public speaking and sharing the Principles with individuals and small or large groups and I love that I never know what is going to come out of my mouth except an incredible feeling of love and certainty.
Mr Lovely and the girls keep asking me where my filter is as I often say stuff I shouldn’t but in doing that and allowing the words to tumble from my mouth it never fails to amaze me how people react and it never fails to amuse me how comically my insights reveal themselves. I trust mind implicitly.
I introduced myself and began my talk, which I have attached to this blog just in case you want to watch it. Its only 15 minutes long.
Mind took over and I discussed stories of transformation I had experienced during the previous nine months of the course. I discussed the dissipation of a phobia and my relationships with my daughters.
Then it happened. I uttered words I had never said in that way before but I knew it was right in the moment.
I said in my introduction all of the labels I would apply to myself but the primary thing I noticed was that “ I simply am.” There was no need for any more descriptors or additions to explain to anyone but particularly myself about whom I was because the person with the qualified labels that gave assurance of self were no longer required.
I never know who I am going to be in any given moment of time. I can be full of laughter and giggles or I can be in floods of tears, I can be strong or I can be weak and none of it matters because whatever I am experiencing is impermanent.
After a mentoring session with Linda Pransky I saw something really deeply.
To help qualify what I am about to share with you I need you to know that I have two brothers and quite a number of my insights are battle themed. I guess that is what you get after a lifetime of watching Cowboy and Indian movies.
This insight was incredible and was definitely of biblical proportion it really blew my mind with its vividness and clarity.
I saw myself standing in the middle of a field. I was naked and a large sword akin to Excalibur was impaling me to the ground as I stood still looking up to the sky. Labels started to fall from above me. The wording on the labels told me who I was. They mentioned that I was kind. I was generous. I was loving. I was a mother etc. Some of those labels stuck steadfastly to my skin and others simply fell to the ground. Then to my surprise the labels that had fallen to the ground started to rise up again and become attached to me again allowing others to fall again.
In that moment I saw that I am pure essence. The I AM before my qualifications and I recognised that I could be anything I needed to be in any given moment. That was life changing!
This new knowing is freeing. I am no longer confined to my delusions of self. I no longer rely on outdated information to inform me of my involvement in my experiences. Every experience is a new adventure; every experience is an invitation to be fully open to the limitless potential of life.
The deeper my understanding grows about the principles behind life the less involved and concerned I become about the stories I tell myself or the stories my family and clients share with me. I see clearly that we can let go of our personalities and be silently open to our thoughts, reactions and feelings.
In this state of openness the “ I AM “ is easier to hear.
The “ I Am” is our true nature.
Until next time.
Take care, be naughty and let life live through you
All my love
See you soon