A Simple Misunderstanding Almost Killed Her

You’ve been criticising and berating yourself for years, and it really hasn’t worked. 

Somewhere in you, you feel you deserve to be kept small, hunched, on edge; the soft, tender yet knowing part of you left unheard. 

It’s not true, and deep inside you know this too.

You have taken on too many harsh voices and made them your own, turning your back on yourself.

It’s time to turn around, to draw yourself into your body. Whispering, I want to hear you, I want to know you, I want to be you, I want to care for you; softly and courageously.

• Words by Brigit Anna McNeill •

All she ever wanted was to feel normal. To not be afraid, anxious, depressed or overwhelmed by the voices in her head.

Habits, addictions, compulsions, denial, outbursts, self sabotage, anger, sadness and hopelessness were the all consuming behaviours and narrative driving the course of her life.

No one understood.No one else felt this way. Therefore no one could help. 

This darkness overtook her life destroying any hopes of joy and led to wild behavioural swings. She became anorexic. She was already bulimic. She became too anxious to leave her home. She withdrew from family and friends. In her isolation she became depressed. Dark intrusive thoughts kept her company. Kept her stuck. 

She had tried therapy. 

The psychologists,psychiatrists,therapists, coaches and counsellors gave her their very best advice. It was neatly parcelled into strategies, tools, ideas and concepts of change and care too numerous to mention individually. 

None of them permanently landed in her minds eye to create discernible improvements in her life. Their advice made sense for a minute and then that clarity abandoned her. 

She was stuck, afraid, alone and slowly killing herself with the lifestyle choices she was making in her depressed low state of mind. Hopelessness consumed her. She could see no way out of this hell hole of an existence she was living. 

Yet, something inside her never fully gave up. She inherently knew there was a solution. She just had not found it yet. 

Aimee, isn’t alone. There are millions of people just like her over the world struggling with their mental health. Alone with their thoughts and spiralling into dark moods and self sabotaging behaviours to relieve themselves of the pain they find themselves in. That relief is always impermanent and will require constant attention until you gain insight of the true cause of your suffering.

I have worked with thousands of people just like Aimee. Gorgeous souls who are innocently misunderstanding their human experience. No one taught them the truth because most people don’t truly understand what I’m about to share with you. 

You dear human are not your thoughts, your feelings, your mood swings, your ideas or anyone else’s opinion of who they think you should be. You are whole, unbroken, unique and have the capacity and ability to fall back into your own mental health. 

You always have and you will always will have that ability.

Let go of the narrative of your conditioned mind and become more aware of how you are creating your experience of life. 

Get curious about thoughts and thinking not from an analytical perspective but from an energetic and spiritual perspective. Look towards how thought is created versus what that thought is telling you. Thought is a transient energy. It comes and it goes much like the clouds moving in the sky. The clouds are never permanent and fixed in place 24/7. Neither is thought.

Aimee came to see the impermanent nature of thought and became increasingly more aware of both her psychological and spiritual nature. Understanding that dance between ego and spirit has meant that she is now able to feel the whole range of human emotion without spiralling into self sabotaging behaviours to make herself feel better. She is no longer anorexic, bulimic, depressed or anxious. She may have thoughts about these things but she now understands that she can have these thoughts but they don’t have to have her.

You and those you love don’t have to suffer anymore. There is always hope. 

If you or a loved one are ready to change and let go of an eating disorder, anxiety, depression or any other habit or addiction that is holding you back please get in touch with me at [email protected] 

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